Ram Dass has a good line applicable to the holiday season:
“If you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family.”
Our family dynamics create so much of who we are both consciously and unconsciously. Here at Siddha Flower Essences, we share the belief that we choose our family in order to have the experience we signed up for.
Still, what to do during the holiday season when those deeply entrenched parts of ourselves that we effectively manage throughout the year are confronted by those who know how to press our buttons best – our loved ones. One piece of advice we came up with was:
1. “Manage your reactions”
Think about the usual dynamics ahead of time. Envision remaining calm and unnerved even if challenging dynamics arise again. Not taking things personally and remaining open is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves and anyone we are with. There’s a 10,000 things more important than being right, right?:) If you’re bringing a significant other, make sure you communicate before you show up. Before we keep going, we have to address one of the most important rules:
2. “Decide beforehand how many drinks you’ll have”
Blame, ill-will, disowning, or hitting mom, dad, sister, brother over the head with a turkey drumstick probably won’t work. Plus, family interactions provide a valuable mirror into ourselves. It’s also pretty easy to just say “I’ll drink my way through it”. We hate to be a buzz-kill, and we all know drinking heightens your emotions and lessens your better judgment. Downing an entire bottle of wine, won’t fix anything, in fact, you might make things worse. But don’t let us stop you from enjoying your favorite Christmas cocktail.
3. “Lower Your Stress”
We’re not saying go buy a fidget spinner. There are products out there to help manage your stress on a deep level. If you walk into a situation already stressed, any little thing could set you off. Manage that stress first and then show up- or at least have a plan for de-stressing ahead of time.
4. “Constructively Address Situations Head On”
Bottling things up will only lead to emotional suffering, especially if you plan on completely ignoring Rule #2. So if you are up for taking responsibility and addressing stressful emotional states as they arise, we say go for it! It really is rewarding to shift long-standing patterns for the better.
5. “Be With Friends For A Happy Heart”
As we mentioned in the opening of this blog we all chose Mom and Dad and blood relatives for a very good reason. And as we get older, we can also find others who make us better, stronger, and happier. It’s great to also call these people family, and create your own Holiday traditions. The Happy Heart remedy is a nice addition to some San Pellegrino, a glass of wine or pretty much anything else you can think of. Enjoy with whomever you are calling family – even if it’s just you with that special someone – you!
Merry Happy from the Siddha Flower Essences Team!
(Image/GIF source: GIPHY)